by Milica Zernov
The following story was taken from the book: “Treasures New and Old – Writings by and about St. Nikolai Velimirovich,” with the permission of His Eminence Bishop Maxim (Vasiljevic).
On one occasion shortly after the end of World War II, my American friends invited me for a visit. In the meantime I had found out that Bishop Nikolai was living in Chicago, so I decided to call on him, although this was by no means a simple or inexpensive venture. I telephoned the Serbian Church in order to get his address, and to my great surprise I was informed that the Bishop had just arrived in New York for a three day visit. This was a gift from heaven!
We met. He had aged and had become frail but the gaze of his black eyes was still very penetrating, just as when he used to speak to someone and his eyes penetrated their heart. We began to speak about life in the world, about the Church, Russia… “Your Grace,” I asked him, “do the sufferings and the deprivations of the concentration camps kill one spiritually or do they revive people? For example, I have known people, devoted people, who could not muster enough strength to pray. All of their strength had been focused on a piece of bread, on one onion, on a cup of warm water …”
The Bishop answered: “It was like this in the camp: you sat in a corner and repeated to yourself, I am dust and ashes. Lord, take my soul! Suddenly your soul ascended to the Heavens and you saw God face to face. However, you could not bear it and so you said to Him: I am not ready, I cannot, take me back! Then you sat for hours on end and repeated to yourself: I am dust and ashes. Lord, take my soul! And, once again the Lord took your soul … In short, if it were possible, I would give the remainder of my life for one hour in Dachau.”
The Bishop lifted his head and looked straight into my eyes. I could not endure that look; the eyes of a man who met God face to face were looking at me …
He told me this, too: “The prison guards approached me, and mockingly asked me, ‘Do you believe that Jesus Christ was God?”“No,” I answered them.They would start to laugh and then question me again, “That means that you no longer believe?”“I do not believe; instead, I know,” was my answer.“They became irritated and left immediately.“After some time, they forced a conversation again and asked, `Was your Jesus the son of a Jewess?’“No,” I answered.“Well, whose son was He then?“The Son of Man,” I said and they did not know what to retort…”
Bishop Nikolai was a pillar of the Serbian Church. Now, after his death, he is constantly beholding God, face to face …
Milica Zernov (1975)
On one occasion shortly after the end of World War II, my American friends invited me for a visit. In the meantime I had found out that Bishop Nikolai was living in Chicago, so I decided to call on him, although this was by no means a simple or inexpensive venture. I telephoned the Serbian Church in order to get his address, and to my great surprise I was informed that the Bishop had just arrived in New York for a three day visit. This was a gift from heaven!
We met. He had aged and had become frail but the gaze of his black eyes was still very penetrating, just as when he used to speak to someone and his eyes penetrated their heart. We began to speak about life in the world, about the Church, Russia… “Your Grace,” I asked him, “do the sufferings and the deprivations of the concentration camps kill one spiritually or do they revive people? For example, I have known people, devoted people, who could not muster enough strength to pray. All of their strength had been focused on a piece of bread, on one onion, on a cup of warm water …”
The Bishop answered: “It was like this in the camp: you sat in a corner and repeated to yourself, I am dust and ashes. Lord, take my soul! Suddenly your soul ascended to the Heavens and you saw God face to face. However, you could not bear it and so you said to Him: I am not ready, I cannot, take me back! Then you sat for hours on end and repeated to yourself: I am dust and ashes. Lord, take my soul! And, once again the Lord took your soul … In short, if it were possible, I would give the remainder of my life for one hour in Dachau.”
The Bishop lifted his head and looked straight into my eyes. I could not endure that look; the eyes of a man who met God face to face were looking at me …
He told me this, too: “The prison guards approached me, and mockingly asked me, ‘Do you believe that Jesus Christ was God?”“No,” I answered them.They would start to laugh and then question me again, “That means that you no longer believe?”“I do not believe; instead, I know,” was my answer.“They became irritated and left immediately.“After some time, they forced a conversation again and asked, `Was your Jesus the son of a Jewess?’“No,” I answered.“Well, whose son was He then?“The Son of Man,” I said and they did not know what to retort…”
Bishop Nikolai was a pillar of the Serbian Church. Now, after his death, he is constantly beholding God, face to face …
Milica Zernov (1975)
- Nataliy Borislavova "In short, if it were possible, I would give the remainder of my life for one hour in Dachau.” И това е човек живел преди не повече от 60-70 години. А нас ни мъчат страховете от икономическа криза и какво ли не още...
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